I’ve come to terms with a lot of things. Being assaulted, being manipulated, being neglected, being alone. It hurts, and honestly I don’t know how I’ve gotten this far, but I’m glad I have. I will work to feel less lonely when alone, and I’ll work to support myself so I won’t NEED to rely on others for things I can handle myself. I need to learn to love myself enough to live for myself and not because I am afraid of letting others down.

--

--

I seriously need a weekend where I can actually relax. Just have no major assignments due one after another due a day apart. I could use a break. I can’t even enjoy doodling to release stress, its just stressful to sit at my desk!

--

--

i really miss the stars from home. i guess they aren’t really from home, but i miss being able to see them the way i could back home. i wonder if i can find somewhere here to see them as clearly as i did then. i miss sitting outside with my cats watching the stars satellites and moon after a little walk. i miss the freedom i had

--

--

I love this class, and I love that I have the option to be in more free form classes, but I do not have it in me to constantly create. I do not have the energy to get out of bed some days. I do not have it in me to think about my legacy. I do not have so many of the necessary motived to succeed much anymore. I am so tired, and so burnout. I cannot give 100% to every class every day with projects and papers any given day or week anymore. I need a break. I am not being creative organically, I am being forced to create solutions to supplement a creativity slump. I am tired, and I want to be genuine.

--

--